Top Ten Reasons to Attend the Reunion

10. You still know what "Open Bar" means.

9. This would be a better night out than your usual gig driving a car with a Domino's Pizza sign on the roof.

8. You've been practicing sucking in your gut until it hurts, but have nothing to show for it so far except stretch marks.

7. It's been at least ten years since you got to tell your more obscure friends about that nice leased sports car you "own."

6. It's been at least ten minutes since you got to tell anyone how much money you make, times ten.

5. Either you think your hairline looks great, or you think your recently shaved head looks sexy.

4. There will be a cocktail hot dog eating contest.

3. You don't suffer enough indignities every day negotiating with your teenage children.

2. There are at least fifteen people from your graduating class who think you are dead.

And the number one reason to attend the reunion is:

1. When you were in high school, you didn't think you'd LIVE 30 more years.